Nearly 900 words of self comfort

Long time I don’t write! But I 'm back. The truth is that I decided to start a blog at a difficult time of my vacation, as I was studying all the time I couldn’t write anything on the blog. I came back from vacation in Chile and now I'm in the pacific San Luis, visiting my grandparents that I will not see for a year.

Lasting only 14 (13 ? 12 ? ) days before departure a few km away from my hometown, I'm  starting to question my maturity to handle myself alone outside my nest. The confidence that characterizes me and my obvious egocentrism look small comparing them to something so vast and huge as other country. Even the mere fact of sleeping in a strange house to mine (as I recall now), makes me a bit uncomfortable.

Anyway, it's pretty late to look back. These last two weeks I have them organized as I always do with my months in the calendar, every day noted in it with a different activity each one of them. Unfortunately I'll have to be flexible. I have many people to say goodbye to ... even if many of those people unfortunately may forget me in a week of my absence.

After these weeks away, I have gathered a lot of photos not yet reviewed, and just thinking that I have to revise and edit them makes me cranky.

Maybe it is because think too much about the perfect scenes I'll be able to take on my adventure, and the photos that I have currently feel quite dull compared to those I have in my imagination.

So ladies and gentlemen, this is how my life works. I spend all my life waiting for a future event, as if the present is just a bother I have to overcome to reach my goal.

When I received the acceptation letter from AFS saying that on March of this year I was going to go to the other side of the world, my life began to spin around a countdown of days that is soon to finish. The good thing is, the time did as I wanted and flowed like water through my hands, so smooth I couldn’t even see it. But as a human, always dissatisfied, I have to admit that the last few months my life was pretty happy, maybe even interesting, and I am sorry it will be over now.

I know my life will not end here, I'll be out a whole year, but it makes me sad to think that when I come back nothing will be the same, and many things may change for the worse.

So many random thoughts; what I'm getting at is that I am terrified of what is coming. If I could, I wouldn’t speak to anyone of you for these two weeks. As  a rebellion for my fear I would lock myself  to watch anime , play video games , studying Japanese , and maybe do a couple of photo projects that I always plan and never do.

Thinking of the number of days remaining leaves me a bit groggy.

Turning to more technical data, I’ll leave Argentina on March 17 at 11:20 pm. After several hours, we will arrive to Qatar, a quite tiny country between Asia and Europe (but certainly richer than several western countries) at 11:45 pm the 18th. Then, we retake out path for several hours more to Narita Airport, Tokyo, to arrive at 4:55 pm the 19th. 30 hours of transition, quite few for a change as sharp as the one between Argentina and Japan.

More than two weeks ago, I sent an email to my host family to follow our uncomfortable conversation between two people who are going to live one year together, but are unable to be accept themselves completely. After the mail was sent, I started to study and study and study until I finally finished submitting all the exams I had a week ago. I 'm going to Japan with 2 /3 of my 6th year done, and I could not be happier with my achievement. In fact it was so easy that I would skip my 7^th year too. I guess that with vitamins, coffee and mint gum I can pass the college no matter the career I choose.

Two weeks after I sent the mail to my host family there is still no answer so here I can confirm that at least my host father takes things pretty seriously. All I told them was that I was a bit busy studying and I apologized if my response was not that fast, but I guess it was enough for them to be terrified of interrupting me (I hope I'm wrong).

And in there I'm going to get lost, that country. I have no choice but to accept it I guess. I'm excited and still terrified. In fact I'm so sick of thinking that sometimes all I want is to get the once and stop having so much uncertainty!

Before I have a positivism attack, better leave this post here. If you don’t read me next week, you will do it when I'm far away already, for my sake, and for yours.

will add image when home